Give Up Their Car Keys
Convincing parents or other elderly family members to give up driving may be one of the more difficult conversations. Recently I had a teary-eyed adult child in my office sharing her father’s words “but, I taught you to drive.” Many older people remain competent drivers, but the normal processes of aging can hamper driving ability. Commonly prescribed medications can affect reflexes or judgment or both. Adult children need to be alert to whether it’s time for their parents to give up the car keys.
Find a conversational opening - a discussion about a recent accident that was in the news or a discussion of stressful driving conditions may give a lead in to a discussion about driving capabilities. This won’t be an easy conversation but it’s one that has to happen. Ask when the last time they had a regular vision checkup. Are their corrective lenses prescriptions current? Do they seem to have trouble hearing and, if so, when was the last time they had their hearing checked? Do they need hearing aids but refuse to get them? Would they consider a defensive driving program tailored for senior citizens, such as AARP’s Driver Safety Program?
Sometimes a routine trip as a passenger is a good opportunity to observe their driving. Initial indicators of driving skill problems may be there even before getting in the car like scrapes, dents or scratches on the car or on items in the garage where the car is parked. Other indicators that there may be trouble ahead are behaviors observed while in the car like riding the brake, or getting distracted or confused about directions, signals or signs. Indicators that call for immediate attention are things like running red lights, getting lost in familiar places or confusing the gas and brake pedal.
It can be difficult to decide when the best time is to give up the keys. That's why it's a good idea to start talking with them about driving and monitoring their driving long before there may be a problem. The last person they want to hear it from is a police officer. If they refuse to give up the keys, a physician or other interested party can report a possible unfit driver to the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles.
All reports must be in writing and must be signed by the person making the report and contain identification of the individual whose driving ability is being questioned, including the name and at least one of the following: social security number, license, date of birth, and address. In addition, the report must contain the reason for the complaint and/or a description of the purported functional limitation (ie. memory impairment).
The Mass RMV Medical Affairs Office will accept the report from a family member, physician, law enforcement, or other interested third party (friend or neighbor). Medical Affairs will conduct an individualized assessment of the reported individual's qualifications to operate a motor vehicle safely which may include requiring that the individual undergo a competency road examination, an assessment for adaptive equipment and/or appropriate license restrictions, prior to taking a licensing action. Medical Affairs can revoke a license. For more information go to http://www.mass.gov/rmv/medical/reporting.htm.
Hopefully, the conversation never has to happen. From the desk of the Executive Director, Sandra West